BHP for Kids!


adventure!	\|	word fun!	\|	special project!	\|	word search!	\|	craft corner!

INSTRUCTIONS — it's easy!

1. Ask your parents for a five-pound bag of flour. Take good care of it, this bag is your new special friend!

2. Carry your special friend everywhere you go. When you visit a friend's house remember to take it with you. If you have to leave your special friend at home remember to call it.

3. Thats it! Now follow these simple directions for a genuine love experience.

WEEK ONE
Now you are dating! You have just met the most special friend in the whole world. Isn't your special friend beautiful. Doesn't your friend smell great! Compliment your special friend on its pretty label. Give your friend a big hug and think about all the great times you will have together.
• Introduce your special friend to all your other friends.
• Call your special friend at least once a day.
• Ask your parents for some money. Carefully place the money on a barbecue grill or in a fireplace and set the money on fire (remember, only set fires with your parents' supervision). Burn a little money every day you are with your friend — your friend will be so happy!

WEEK TWO
• Your friend wants you to call some more. Call your special friend at least twice a day every day this week.
• Project: Visiting Your Special Friend's Family. Meeting your special friend's family can be fun! Starting this week, and every week after this one, sit down with your bag of flour in front of your television. Ask your parents to turn on CNN Financial News. Watch it for five hours. Smile and talk to the people on the television. Tell them you agree with everything they say. Now you are learning the fun of meeting your special friend's family!

WEEK THREE
• Remember to call your bag of flour four or five times a day. It's okay if you forget to call one day – just call your special friend eight times the next day!
• Project: All Your Big Secrets. Want to know what it's like to share your big big secrets? Start writing all your biggest secrets in a special secret note book. Carefully write the words "My Special Secrets" and your name on the front of the book. After you have finished dating your special friend leave the book in your school hallway for other people to find.

WEEK FOUR
Ask your parents for a second bag of flour that you can tie to your bag with shipping twine – your little love bag is putting on some weight! It's okay, that's normal when you are dating.
• Project: Challenge Your Friendships. Write down all of the names of your friends on small pieces of paper. Put the names in a hat and mix them up carefully. Pull out two names. These are the friends your bag doesn't like. Explain to these two friends that you can't see them anymore and never play with them again. It's ok – it's all part of the fun of dating!

WEEK FIVE
• Project: Life at Home. Learn what it is like to live with a special friend all the time. Watch television that you hate at least two hours a day with your special friend. When it's time for bed stay awake an extra two hours telling your bag over and over that it's a nice bag and tell it that it looks very pretty. Break something that you own every day.

WEEK SIX
If you live in Missouri remember to smack yourself in the head with the bag of flour at least twice a day.
• Project: Challenge More Friendships. Take the hat that has your remaining friends' names and pull out two more names. Last Thursday your bag of flour had too much to drink and touched one of your friends in a special place, then punched the other friend in the face. How embarrassing! Now you can't talk to these friends any more either.

WEEKS SEVEN THROUGH TWELVE
Follow directions for week six until you lose all your friends OR you throw your bag into traffic OR your parents send you to a special kind of talking doctor.

Now you know all about dating and romance. Now you know why mommy and daddy drink so much. Some day when you grow up you will also date. And you will also drink. Won't that be fun!