Goddammo New!
Have your wedding ring melted into a bullet then etched with the name of your ex. (Good defense lawyer not included.)

Poison Pen Letters
Nasty, nasty, nasty. But witty! When you care enough to send the most vicious greeting cards available; anonymous mailing optional.

Pickle Party's Sex & Love Cards [Free]
E-greeting cards with everyday messages like "Please Stop Calling Me", "I Wish We Never Had Sex", "You're Two Timing Me," and "Shave Your Bush".

X-Wipes
Cornholing your ex was never this much fun. And with the finest Canadian 2-ply hypo-allergenic cottony tissue it's never been softer.

BitterSweets by Despair, Inc.
Brightly-colored, heart-shaped, chalk-flavored unsentimental Valentine's Day candy for your black heart.

DeadRoses.com
...or for a somewhat nastier gift consider sending roses (they have both kinds: black AND dead).

Morrissey Ring Tones [Free]
"I have Morrissey on my ring tone
Because black is how I feel on the inside." Download free Morrissey and The Smiths ringtones by album and make every call a tragic one.