Life Outside
Products Services Others Who Understand
Helpful Services
Don’t panic, there’s help out there and we’ve found it. These kind people understand your pain and are ready to help. Click on any of the below links to learn more.

Vanity Date [Free]
Shallow? Sure. Superficial? Yup. Judgemental? Check. At least this site's willing to cut the bullshit and give you what you really want.

The Rejection Line [Free]
You want my number? So you can call me and we can go out? Um, sure…Got a pen?

PaperNapkin.net [Free]
Digital rejection for the techno-loser that wants your email address.

Sistema Investigaciones Privadas (en español)
Everything you need in a Chiléan private investigation firm that sells cover stories to cheating husbands and boyfriends, and "cover-ups" on request.

inSPOT.com [Free]
Fresh out of witty ways to notify your partners that you may have given them something more than a fond memory? inSPOT is the site for you... anonymity optional.

U R Dumped [Free]
And they have the pictures to prove it. Rinse the acrid, metallic taste of failure out of your life with the clean, refreshing flavor of mighty vengeance.

Imaginary Girlfriends  new!
Thanks to internet porn you almost never had to leave your house; the only thing missing was that all-important emotional connection... until now.

Crush007: Discover your friends' secret crushes [Free] warning: severely evil
This is so horrible even we flinched.
This is really very, very wrong.
But it also works.

Ananova Rocky Relationship News [Free]
Once you check this out you'll wonder how you ever got by without frequent updates on freakish relationships around the globe.

Marry Your Pet
When all else fails, turn to the only one who will never say no to licking peanut butter off your genitals.

Pornolize [Free]
Long on horny but short on porn? Use this service to instantly pornolize any ordinary website. Even campaign finance reform looks sexy now.

The Death Clock [Free]
That biological clock is tickin' away and you're not getting any younger. Find out how much life you have left here, then you can fret and worry properly.

Got a problem? Swing by the Clinic for snide remarks.
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